man i spent so much time on this like 200030540 HOURSSSS
based off a convo with sari bout what would happen if artie died douchey’s hair rainbow.
conclusion: he’d stalk him everywhere to make sure he didn’t change it back
Yo, I'm Alfred F. Jones, the U.S. of A. or just Al. I guess you could call me Douchefred too, since many have taken to calling me that, and even I have to admit, it's at least a little fitting.
Rich, famous, sexy, you name it, I've got it. I look familiar to you? Ah, that's an easy answer, either we've met at a club, or you've seen a few of my movies.
Feel free to come talk to me, if you think you've got what it takes. If you catch my eye I might just do something more than chat~, I'm even willing to pay if you've got the right body.
((Independant RP blog for Hollywood!America. He will basically be a gigantic douchebag, just as a warning.))
heavenlymaple asked: *throws a diaper at his head*
IT’S CALLED WASHING YOUR HANDS. WHAT THE HELL DO YOU DO WHEN YOU TAKE A SHIT?
-raises his hands up defensively- Calm down, jesus christ. Can’t a guy have an aversion to wiping a baby’s ass?
*stares at him and throws her arms into the air, giving up* Fine! Whatever! Christ, why didn’t I just listen to Dev? *snatches the diaper from him and changes her quickly*
-remains quiet, rubbing at his neck and keeping his gaze away somewhat awkwardly-
*trying to keep calm but is failing; babies can sense it too and start squirming*
-glances at her, and then the babies and back, before swallowing- …Sorry?
heavenlymaple asked: *throws a diaper at his head*
IT’S CALLED WASHING YOUR HANDS. WHAT THE HELL DO YOU DO WHEN YOU TAKE A SHIT?
-raises his hands up defensively- Calm down, jesus christ. Can’t a guy have an aversion to wiping a baby’s ass?
*stares at him and throws her arms into the air, giving up* Fine! Whatever! Christ, why didn’t I just listen to Dev? *snatches the diaper from him and changes her quickly*
-remains quiet, rubbing at his neck and keeping his gaze away somewhat awkwardly-
heavenlymaple asked: *throws a diaper at his head*
*frazzled* HE REFUSES TO CHANGE DIAPERS, TOO. GOD, WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!
-leans away from a little- Well most people don’t like having their hands in close proximity to shit, especially human.
IT’S CALLED WASHING YOUR HANDS. WHAT THE HELL DO YOU DO WHEN YOU TAKE A SHIT?
-raises his hands up defensively- Calm down, jesus christ. Can’t a guy have an aversion to wiping a baby’s ass?
heavenlymaple asked: *throws a diaper at his head*
-frowns and crosses his arms- No.
*massages the bridge of her nose* Please? Come on, look. She’s waiting for you to wipe her ass.
I’m not wiping anyone’s ass, baby or not.
OH MY GOD WHY ARE YOU JUST LIKE MY BROTHER
-may or may not have flinched juuust a little- What.
*frazzled* HE REFUSES TO CHANGE DIAPERS, TOO. GOD, WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!
-leans away from a little- Well most people don’t like having their hands in close proximity to shit, especially human.
heavenlymaple asked: *throws a diaper at his head*
-frowns and crosses his arms- No.
*massages the bridge of her nose* Please? Come on, look. She’s waiting for you to wipe her ass.
I’m not wiping anyone’s ass, baby or not.
OH MY GOD WHY ARE YOU JUST LIKE MY BROTHER
-may or may not have flinched juuust a little- What.
heavenlymaple asked: *throws a diaper at his head*
-frowns and crosses his arms- No.
*massages the bridge of her nose* Please? Come on, look. She’s waiting for you to wipe her ass.
I’m not wiping anyone’s ass, baby or not.
heavenlymaple asked: *throws a diaper at his head*
…Oh right. -grabs one, and glances from the baby to her again, before holding the wipe towards her- You do it.
Haha no.
I’m a famous celebrity I shouldn’t be subjected to this. Too important.
I will call my brother.
And he will fry your ass.
Brad Pitt changes his kids’ diapers.
So can you.
Get to it.
-frowns and crosses his arms- No.
